Missing Sex Drive

Some women lose the desire for sex in early pregnancy and, for some, this lasts for the entire pregnancy.  It may be due to fatigue or nausea for example, but it may also be due to fear of harming the baby.  Moreover, the woman may have a feeling that she can only do one thing at once, in this case, be pregnant.

It’s perfectly acceptable not to have sex in pregnancy.  There’s a lot more to a sexual relationship than intercourse.  This concept can be difficult to understand for the partner in the relationship who may be feeling excluded.  As a loving partner, they want and need to feel part of everything.  To feel close to the mother and in this way, they too get to enjoy the beauty of the pregnancy.  Discuss your needs and concerns with your partner in an open and loving way.  If for various reasons you do not want intercourse, you can try to cuddle, kiss or massage and develop other ways to enjoy each other.

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Your partner’s sex drive may also rise or shrink during pregnancy.  Some people feel a greater closeness to their pregnant partner and welcome the changes that happen to her body and experience increased sexual desire.  Others may experience decreased desire due to concerns over the upcoming changes in their lives, concerns about the mother or the unborn child’s health or because sexual pleasure is reduced.

Dialogue is really important.  Talk with each other about your thoughts and feelings.   Most people get the urge back once the nausea and fatigue go.

If you went off sex, how did your partner cope? Did you compensate in other ways? What affect did it have on your marriage?